Memories from Auschwitz

Editor's Note: Zhikica Pagovski is a foreign exchange student from Macedonia. He visited Auschwitz Oct. 26, 2009.

Coming back from Auschwitz… The memories from that place are shaping a new picture of the human race in my mind – a grey one. How far the people's brutality can go and how evil one can be to think of, not even do such a thing? These are questions that will remain unanswered. The main reason why they will stay locked in history is because nobody can explain the people's need to spread the innocent blood of that baby, who was born 40 days ago and blessed by God to enjoy this world. How cruel is the one who will imprison a girl and her mother, the one who will put them in a train, and the one that will say, both of you will die?

When leaving the place, I felt psychologically exhausted, upset and confused because I am belonging to the highest stage of the human evolution: Homo sapiens. Maybe Homo erectus was killing to preserve for food and shelter, but these Homo sapiens were killing to fulfill their sadistic needs. What was the need for these Homo sapiens to take people's lives, when they had enough food, water, shelter? Was this killing of innocent people one of a million other ways that Homo sapiens had to satisfy their pleasures? Maybe we should praise the human evolution that brought the industrial revolution. However, the industrial revolution's goal was to develop factories for common goods, not factories for death. Or the human mind became so cruel that it began to consider death as a common good?

In this memoir, I will not try to answer to all these issues, nor will I judge the Holocaust. I will describe my trip to Auschwitz and will try to help you understand the importance of such a visit. Many people say that going to such a place makes no sense because there is no point seeing how some people where tortured and killed. However, I think it is very essential to go there and to experience the Holocaust from a more real perspective. This is also a way to show respect to the people who lost their lives in such a horrifying place. And most importantly, this is a way to see Santayana's quote hanging from a panel in one of the barracks:

"The one who does not remember history is bound to live through it again."

I will never forget the day when I finished my visit to the historical city of Krakow and left for Auschwitz with my friend Bibi and the tour guide. Many questions were bugging my head. The main question was why I had decided to go to this place and see all this horror from such a perspective. Beforehand, I had read many books, watched many movies and heard many stories about the Holocaust. But that day was the time when my senses were supposed to prove it. During the drive, I was looking at the bountiful and colorful forest that surrounded the road, and I was thinking that maybe this was one of the last beautiful things that the prisoners brought to Auschwitz saw before being executed.

As we approached Auschwitz, my fear was rising. I was not sure if I would be able to stand that place. During the trip, the tour guide was explaining to us some main issues about the Holocaust, but I was distracted and could not focus on what he was saying. I asked him why the Nazis decided to build the camp in this region. He told us that the camp was constructed on a flat ground and surrounded by many rivers, making it difficult for somebody to hide and escape from it.

We had arrived at Auschwitz parking. The tour guide asked us to leave the car so he could find a spot to park. I woke up Bibi and we went out. After that, the tour guide came and we went together to the entrance of the place. He informed us that there were no ticket charges to enter and everybody was free to come and visit the place. He told us that all Israeli students are supposed to come here at some point in their education. In that moment we saw a big group of Israeli students coming behind us. I was thinking about how they felt knowing that people from the same ethnicity and religion were the main goal of this camp. First we passed through the information building. After that, we approached the central gate of the camp.

We saw the famous quote, "Arbeit Macht Frei" (Work sets you free), that the Nazis used to engrave above the gates of each concentration camp. The tour guide told us that during the functioning of the camp there was an orchestra of prisoners which used to welcome the new prisoners and give them a sense of joy and a release from their fear.

First we visited the barracks. We started at Block 11. This was the barrack where Nazis used to punish prisoners. There were a lot of framed photos hanging on the wall of people who died in the camp. People of all ages, genders and nationalities were photographed before they were killed. Many visitors to the camp have found their relatives and put a flower on their photos.

After that we visited some of the cells where the prisoners were held. Some of the cells were constructed to lack oxygen, some to be very small (around 16 sq. ft.) and accommodate four prisoners at the same time, and some to leave prisoners to starve for food and drink. Walking through the halls of this barrack we saw a lot of tools that the Nazis used to torture the prisoners. At the end we entered the room where some artifacts from the sociocultural life of the prisoners were exposed, such as poems, letters, essays and pictures. These activities served to detach the prisoners' minds from the reality they were facing and helped them to endure the camp.

After we left the block, I saw Block 10, the place where Dr. Mengele used to perform his medical experiments. The building was not open for visitors and it looked terrifying with all windows covered by batten. Between Block 10 and 11, lay the wall where Nazis used to shoot the prisoners. The wall was surrounded by tons of flowers and candles. The place was so sorrowful. Bibi asked us to leave the place as soon as possible.